Doctor Doctor I’ve only got 60 seconds to live.
Doctor replies: Wait there for a minute.
(From Matthew in Hebburn)
When does B come after U?
When you take it’s honey.
(From Gary in Port Talbot)
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman?
(From Neil in Jersey)
What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?
Your to young to smoke.
(From Tracy in Harrogate)
Whats brown and sticky?
(From Larry in Belfast)
How does a skeleton phone his friends?
On his mobile telebone.
(From Samantha in Newcastle)
Which day do potatoes not like?
(From Walter in Dorking)
What happens when an egg laughs?
It cracks up.
(From Kylie in Amersham)
What building has the most stories?
(from Jane in Billericay)
Why was Cinderella hopeless at football?
Because she ran away from the ball.
(From Tony in Newark)
Why do golfers carry spare socks?
In case they get a hole in 1.
(From Lee in Oldham)